Indian culture and etiquette

Namaste — palms together at chest height, with a slight bow — works as a greeting with anyone, avoids the question of whether a handshake is appropriate across genders, and is never wrong. Handshakes are entirely normal in professional settings, but let a woman offer first.

Footwear comes off entering a home, and always entering a temple, mosque, gurdwara or church where others have removed theirs. There is usually a rack or a designated spot. In some shops and offices too, if you see shoes outside the door.

The right hand is used for eating, giving and receiving. The left is traditionally associated with cleaning, so passing money, food or documents with it reads as rude even where nobody would say so. Using both hands to give or receive something is respectful.

Feet carry meaning. Pointing your soles at a person, a shrine or a book is disrespectful; sitting cross-legged on the floor is normal but tuck your feet. If you accidentally touch someone with your foot, the conventional apology is a quick touch of your hand to them and then to your own chest or eyes — a gesture worth knowing because it defuses the moment instantly.

Touching an elder's feet is a mark of respect, particularly within families and at festivals. Nobody expects a foreigner to do it.

The head is considered the most sacred part of the body — avoid touching an adult's head, including affectionately.

Books, papers and musical instruments are associated with Saraswati and treated with care; stepping on them accidentally usually draws the same touch-and-apologise gesture.

Remove footwear before entering. Cover your shoulders and knees; women may be asked to cover their heads at some sites, and a scarf is worth carrying. At gurdwaras, head covering is required for everyone and cloths are provided at the entrance.

Leather items are prohibited in many Hindu and Jain temples — belts, wallets and bags included, not just shoes.

Photography is restricted or forbidden in many inner sanctums. Look for signs, and ask rather than assume. Photographing people at prayer without permission is intrusive anywhere.

Some temples restrict entry to non-Hindus, particularly in the south and at certain major sites. This is not personal and is usually clearly signed.

Walk clockwise around a shrine, do not turn your back on the deity when leaving where the space allows, and do not point at images with a finger.

Prasad — food offered and then distributed — is accepted with the right hand and should not be refused casually.

At mosques, women should cover their hair and there may be separate entrances or areas. At gurdwaras, everyone is welcome and the langar, the free communal kitchen, will feed you regardless of who you are; sit on the floor with everyone else.

Hospitality is taken seriously — atithi devo bhava, the guest is divine, is a genuine cultural norm rather than a slogan. Expect to be offered food and drink, and expect refusals to be treated as politeness to be overcome. Accepting something, even a token amount, is easier than declining repeatedly.

Bringing sweets, fruit or a small gift when visiting is standard. Gifts are frequently not opened in front of the giver.

Personal questions arrive early and are not intrusive by local convention: your age, your salary, your marital status, whether you have children, what your father does. They are how relationships are placed rather than an interrogation, and a vague answer is perfectly acceptable if you would rather not say.

The 'Indian head wobble' — a lateral tilt of the head — is real and genuinely ambiguous to outsiders. It variously means yes, I understand, go on, or acknowledgement, and context does the work.

Indirect refusal is common. 'Yes' can mean 'I have heard you', and a plan that is never confirmed is often a plan that is not happening. A direct 'no' is frequently avoided as impolite, so listening for the absence of a clear yes is more useful than waiting for a no.

Time is treated flexibly in social settings and much less so in professional ones; the distinction matters more than the stereotype.

Queuing norms vary considerably by city and setting, and are often more assertive than visitors expect.

Vegetarianism is widespread and varies enormously by region and community — high in Gujarat and Rajasthan, much lower in coastal and eastern states. Many people who eat meat avoid beef, and many avoid pork. Jain dietary practice additionally excludes root vegetables. Asking rather than assuming is normal and welcome.

Eating with the right hand is common and entirely acceptable; cutlery is available almost everywhere. In traditional settings, food may be served on a thali or a banana leaf, and it is normal for hosts to keep refilling.

Alcohol is a state subject, and practice ranges from freely available to prohibited — Gujarat and Bihar have prohibition, several states have dry days, and drinking ages differ by state from 18 to 25. It is also socially charged in a way it is not in many countries, so read the setting.

Dress conventions are more conservative outside major metros and much more so at religious sites. Covered shoulders and knees are a safe default for everyone; women may find loose clothing more comfortable and less scrutinised, and a scarf is a genuinely useful item.

Tipping is modest and discretionary. Rounding up at restaurants, small amounts for hotel staff and drivers, and nothing for autorickshaws unless they have helped beyond the ride. Check the bill for a service charge, which is legally required to be voluntary — the Department of Consumer Affairs guidelines say it cannot be added mandatorily, and you may ask for it to be removed.

Bargaining is expected in markets and with autorickshaws without meters, and not in shops with fixed prices, restaurants or anywhere displaying an MRP. Charging above the printed maximum retail price is an offence.

Public displays of affection between couples are generally restrained, particularly outside metros. Holding hands between friends of the same gender, conversely, is common and carries no romantic implication.